March 2012
8 posts
Top 10 Ridiculous Old-Timey Sports Logos →
A new series of sentences from moi. The above picture represented the Detroit Tigers in the late-20s. And they haven’t stopped being an utter joke since.
Top 10 SNL Characters Who Deserved Their Very Own... →
And, we are officially caught up! Hot diggity! This was written for TopTenz yesterday, featuring ten film premises that Lorne Michaels would be wise to pay me to write up completely. Yes, some of these characters are old but Hell, they made a Coneheads movie twenty years after that sketch went away. There is literally no reason to not green-light everything I have proposed.
Top 10 Lamest Origins Of Hip-Hop Nicknames →
Original Publishing Date: February 29, 2012
Written for TopTenz. Note to Sean Combs: you are on this list twice. Your hero, Biggie, isn’t on even once. Get the point, Mr. Inferior?
Top 10 Most Convoluted Videogame Storylines →
Original Publishing Date: February 2, 2012
Written for TopTenz. Just because it’s a damned video game series doesn’t mean it can’t make a lick of sense. Continuity is hard.
The Top Five (and Bottom Five) Royal Rumble... →
Original Publishing Date: January 25, 2012
Written for Gunaxin in time for the annual Royal Rumble. And already outdated, as this year’s Rumble finish (Sheamus vs Chris Jericho) ended up being beyond awesome, and probably would get bumped up to #3 or #4 on the Best list if I felt like updating the article. Which I sure as shit don’t.
Randall Terry: Insane “Democrat” For President →
Original Publishing Date: January 25, 2012
Written for Gunaxin. Yes, there IS a Democrat running for President besides Obama! A psychotic, intensely pro-life, anti-gay, ridiculously conservative Democrat, but still a Democrat! His goal was to air a commercial featuring aborted fetuses during the Super Bowl, which ended up not happening. He had ONE campaign promise and he broke it. The...
Floyd Mayweather Jr. Delays Jail Time So He Can... →
Original Publishing Date: January 9, 2012
Written for Gunaxin as an attempt at writing more quickie, topical pieces at a faster pace. I’ve since put it on hold due to a similar thing being concocted at Cracked, but the focus there seems to be changing to the point where I can probably start doing these things again. Commence wetting yourself in anticipation.
i'm a bad tumbler
How long has it been since I updated this thing? Too fuck long. Same with my twitter, really. I’m an awful social networking guy-type-thing. But I’ve actually been writing, serious! I keep forgetting to link the damned things, which is awful when the thing I write is topical. Time to correct that in one fell swoop, like one of those mob movies where everybody gets whacked in one...
