If only this were a real kick; then maybe we wouldn’t have to put up with hordes of morons doing that so-tired-its-comatose Hold Up The Tower gag on their Italian excursion. In lieu of such destruction, I wrote up a piece for Urban Titan taking unoriginal tourists to task, highlighting alternatives, and suggesting a few of my own. If you take any of my suggestions, remember to credit me by carving my name onto the landmark in question. The guards won’t mind.
This isn’t performance art; this is actually what way too many pet owners find adorable. Meanwhile, these poor pooches just wish they were bigger and more capable of tearing a human limb from limb. So do I, actually.
There are a bunch of other ways pet owners humiliate their pet to the brink of despair. And I wrote about ‘em, in my debut for Listverse. Read it, study it, never buy anything mentioned in it. You pet will thank you by not killing you.
So I have made my grand debut at yet another new site: only 234,912,463,409,146 to go before I’m literally everywhere on the Internet!
This time, it’s Tailgate Fan, all about sports and the Gating Of The Tails. Consider it a cautionary tale, as your Super Bowl get-together is nigh. Make sure you invite the right people, and not the yo-yo’s I’m writing about.
That’s probably more than, like, everyone else, right? Pretty sure I’m leaving everyone else in the dust.
Lara Croft gained the ability to wield the legendary Excalibur and, after that, the Hammer Of Thor. So what ever became of Royal Goddess Lara? Absolutely nothing, because who would possibly be interested in THAT kinda development?
Videogames are good at that, teasing you with an awesome plot twist and then pretending it never happened. So much so that I wrote a whole article about it. And Topless Robot, my newest market, published it. And you read it. And you loved it. And you sent me money and nudes.
Today’s shameless self-plug: Cracked! Here’s my newest piece for them, all about pop’s most awkward attempts to sing about fancy-schmancy Interwebby technology, despite knowing little more about it than how to send their assistant out to buy it for them.
You’re looking at 26 different varieties of soup. Now imagine them all mixed together in one giganto Ultimate Super Bowl Of Soup concoction. Now read my Zug article about eating said concoction and find out if I’m truly as stupid as you imagine me to be.
ARTICLE PART 1
ARTICLE PART 2
ARTICLE PART 3
A Playboy video game? AWESO…they’re all in bikinis. Well, that was useless.
In my latest Man Cave Daily Article, I explore this and four other shitty video game licenses. But along with the snark is friendly, helpful advice, as I reboot the concepts and show paid professionals in the video game industry how to REALLY take advantage of a license.
Note: I don’t suggest making the Playboy models naked. I’m not stupid, and I know that would never happen. But my actual idea may or may not involve putting the game’s main character in constant mortal danger. Actually, it definitely does.
My entire family got together for a delicious lasagna dinner. I had this crap instead. Why? Work, that’s why. I ate nothing but kiddie food for an entire week, and then wrote about my pain and suffering for Zug. Because you all enjoy when other people suffer. Damn sadists.
ARTICLE PART I
ARTICLE PART II
ARTICLE PART III
See that thing? I ate it. Well, most of it anyway. This was a two-pound burger challenge that I took up for lack of anything better to do. And then, because I needed to recoup the costs of such a gigantic meal, I wrote about my experiences for Man Cave Daily. How close did I come? What did I learn? Am I truly as moronic as you think? Only way to find out is to read the article.
Witness Battleshots, a dumbass drinking game parody invented by every college kid who ever existed, but only shamelessly marketed for money by one company. If you pay money for something you can make with a pizza box, you didn’t deserve that money anyway.
This game is picked apart, along with nine other pointless drinking games that want your money, in my newest article via TopTenz. Check it out now, before you get too drunk to remember words later on.
What’s worse than regular people pretending to be hardass and cool? How about when bland corporations do the same thing, such as above? My latest for TopTenz picks apart those sad attempts by companies to be badass and in-your-face.